This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
