I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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