I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
