You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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