soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am available for nakedness
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
