Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
