remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
