So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize