When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
