sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
