id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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