I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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