i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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