Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
thus making me awesome and them whores
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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