Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
