I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
