I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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