I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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