I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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