hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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