He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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