Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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