youre lurking in front of me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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