addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
