The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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