So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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