i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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