she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
