Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize