Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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