Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize