my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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