She said her name was "party"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
