i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
