I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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