please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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