office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
