His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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