he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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