i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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