Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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