Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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