So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All the doctor said was why
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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