There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
ttyl tear gas
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
