super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
