Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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