just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
