Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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