I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As shirtless as possible
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize