we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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