How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
