Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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