is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
