party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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