It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I look better un-naked...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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