I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
