i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
