I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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