The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize