It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
