Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
