Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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