In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
