come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A bitchslap is in order.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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