her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Someone signed my nipple.
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