I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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