Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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