she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
